Professional Princess Savior

by Chris Maguire

every evil villain needs to capture a princess
it's part of their villainous code
of course it's not so hard when the only thing that stands in your path
is a guy named toad

the sky is blue the ground is red
I undo masonry with my head
the creatures come at me in groups
the background music plays in loops
in loops
in loops
in loops

I slay the beast in his lair
scroll to the right to meet her
only to find she isn't there

oh no!

with the aid of fungi I have grown
the princess will regain her throne
I leap through clouds of fish with wings
jumping through the world on giant springs
on springs
on springs
on springs

I slay the beast in his lair
scroll to the right to meet her
only to find she isn't there

oh no!

black bullets streak above my head
I get die five times 'til I'm dead
another dungeon opens wide
I touch touch a flower and go inside
inside
inside
inside

I slay the beast in his lair
scroll to the right to meet her
only to find she isn't there

oh no!

we're sorry, our princess isn't in this place
hurry up and resume the chase
you'll soon be with your soul mate
she's waiting at the end of level eight